7.1.1 Abby and Noah
Noah is the executive director of a nonprofit. Abby is looking to volunteer there. Noah believes in hope, Abby doesn’t. Let’s watch them negotiate a working relationship.
Noah: I can’t stand it when you say you don’t believe in hope. What’s wrong with you, Abby? You’ve got to believe in hope. And if you don’t you should keep it to yourself because otherwise you’ll be a bad influence on people.
Abby: Don’t you want nonbelievers to be activists? Don’t you want us working hard to make things better?
Noah: Only hope can make things better.
Abby: We could debate the pros and cons of hope, but what if instead we take a minute and look for common ground? For example, I’m scared about the future, really, really scared. How about you?
Noah: Sure, I’m scared.
Abby: Does that count as common ground?
Noah: But we handle our fears so very differently.
Abby: We do, but let me ask you this. You believe in hope and you do everything you can to make things better, is that correct?
Noah: Yes.
Abby: I don’t believe in hope, but I do everything I can to make things better.
Noah: You really do?
Abby: Yes, I do. And which is more important to you, hope or action?
Noah: How can you have action without hope?
Abby: What if I volunteered with your organization and you got to see for yourself that someone who does not believe in hope can still be a dedicated activist? Would that be helpful to you in any way?
Noah: We need all the people we can get. Especially people with the kind of experience you’ve got.
Abby: How strong is your belief in hope?
Noah: Strong. Really strong.
Abby: It’s not like you have to talk yourself into believing in hope when you get up every morning?
Noah: No, I really believe in it. I don’t waver.
Abby: Last week I offered to volunteer at your sister organization, but the director told me she didn’t want me around. I asked her why and she said, “Because my belief in hope is shaky and you’re so clear about not believing that I couldn’t handle having you here.” I appreciated her honesty, so I honored her wishes and left. That’s why I’m coming over here to see if I can work with you. You’re the only other group in our region recruiting people to run for office.
Noah: I can handle you as long as you don’t try to evangelize me.
Abby: I’m not an evangelist. How about you?
Noah: Oh, I guess I am a bit.
Abby: How about if I promise not to evangelize you but I give you permission to evangelize me all you want?
Noah: That doesn’t seem fair.
Abby: It’s not, because you’d be wasting your breath. I’ve been a nonbeliever for many years. It goes deep for me. I really believe in it.
Noah: You believe in nonbelief?
Abby: Yes. But if you want to try to convert me, go for it. I won’t even argue back. I’ll just ask you questions.
Noah: What kind of questions?
Abby: Questions about you. Like, what does hope give you?
Noah: That’s easy. It gives me energy. It keeps me going.
Abby: When I believed in hope, it drove me hard. It burned me out. Does that ever happen with you?
Noah: Sometimes. I have to keep an eye on that.
Abby: Do you believe it’s okay for hope to drive someone so hard they have no time for their loved ones and they end up losing their family?
Noah: Oh, god, no. Nothing could make that okay.
Abby: It sounds like you have very strong feelings about this.
Noah: I do.
Abby: Me too. I hate it when activism destroys a family. That just feels so wrong. Here’s another question. Do you want hope to be real?
Noah: I already believe it is, but to answer your question, yes, I do want it to be real.
Abby: Well, I want hope to be real, too. I wish it were. It’s just that I don’t believe it is or can be. Another question. How do you feel about me not believing in hope?
Noah: I feel sad for you.
Abby: Well, I feel sad for me, too. I miss feeling hopeful. I miss the energy of it. Not believing is not an ideological thing for me. It’s personal. It’s simply who I am now. I don’t really care to engage in debates about hope. What I love is doing good work with kindred spirits. And I don’t need everyone in my life to be a nonbeliever. Not at all.
Noah: I feel sad for myself sometimes.
Abby: Because?
Noah: We work so hard and so often we lose.
Abby: Do you ever find it hard believing in hope?
Noah: Not so much believing. It’s just that some days it’s really hard to keep my spirits up.
Abby: Well, I have days when I find it hard to be a nonbeliever.
Noah: More common ground?
Abby: I think so.
Noah: Okay, come work with us. Let’s try this out.
Abby: How about if we make an agreement? If you’re ever feeling down on a particular day come find me and I’ll do everything I can to help you reclaim your hopeful spirit.
Noah: Okay, and I’ll do the same for you. Meaning I’ll help you find peace with being a nonbeliever.
Abby: I’d like that.
Noah: And if you ever decide you want to return to hope, if you want to get it back, come talk to me. I’ll be your go-to guy. I’ll put you on the fast track back into the fold.
Abby: And if you ever wake up one morning and find you’ve lost hope, really lost it, come talk with me and I’ll show you the ropes. I’ll show you how to live over here on the far side. I’ll do everything I can to make sure despair doesn’t get you.
Noah: But, hey, what about this? What if fate messes with us? What if you come back to hope but on exactly the same day I lose it?
Abby: Okay, funny guy, well then we’ll already have had this conversation, and all we need to do is reverse it, which will save us time, and we’ll still be okay with each other. So, are we ready to get me started on my first assignment?
Noah: You bet.
