2.5 Let's not dump the job of salvation on young people
There are Boomers, members of my generation, who tell young people…
You’re the ones who will save humankind.
Then whisper a caveat…
By the way, you have twelve years to pull this off.
And finish with a cheery vote of confidence…
We believe in you!
On the surface, this sounds like the simple passing of the baton, but it’s not…
It’s a dump job.
I’m an old guy now. My life will be coming to a close sooner rather than later. By the time the worst of the environmental crisis hits, I’ll be gone but today’s young people will be here for it.
They’ll be assaulted by climate disasters and dangerous political shifts that will likely turn brutal. Things are so much darker for them than they were for my generation when we were starting out. I remember back in the sixties, how optimistic we were. We thought we were saving the world. We really thought that.
We did some good things and had some victories along the way, but truth be told, we’ve now had sixty years of earnest activism by Boomers, and…
The prognosis is worse than ever.
It’s just plain wrong to lay the burden of salvation on young people because they’re up against much greater odds than we Boomers ever were and…
We failed.
Over the coming years, as the crises we’re facing continue to multiply and deepen, hope will become harder to hold onto.
And already, young people have every right to be scared about the future. They look at the world and see…
Climate change out of control.
Thousands upon thousands of species dying out.
Scientists announcing we’ve past the point of no return with environmental degradation.
And they’re seeing…
Tens of millions of people losing their minds.
Politics gone crazy.
Major countries taking a hard right turn into authoritarianism.
Hateful buffoons and sociopathic grifters taking charge of those countries.
Young people find themselves up against political and economic elites who are doing exactly the wrong things, and who, as Chris Hedges says…
“Are acting as if they hated humankind and wanted it dead.”
In response, young people have every right to demand radical action. But what are they getting?
The razzle-dazzle of counterfeit solutions.
Empty promises.
Well intentioned incompetence.
Endless distractions.
The tap dance of excuses.
It’s no wonder that so many young people are saying with unmistakable bitterness…
We don’t get to have a future.
It’s so unfair for those who are so young to have to face something as monstrous as the very real possibility of human extinction even before they’ve figured out who they are or what they want to do with their lives.
And what will we Boomers choose to do?
Will we give them pep talks?
Will we preach platitudes?
Will we promise easy steps for salvation?
Or maybe turn our backs and walk away because we have nothing for them and don’t want to face our helplessness?
The choice is clear, abandon young people or…
Be there for them.
Really be there for them. Which is such an easy thing to say, but such a profound thing to actually do.
Of course, young people get to believe in hope if they choose to and can hold onto it. And there are thousands of books and videos they can turn to filled with inspirational messages to boost their optimism.
But what about young people who have already lost hope or who will in the near future. There’s next to nothing for them.
We’re a species that depends on hope. It’s kept us going in tough times. So to lose it is a terrible thing. And most young people are not prepared for this loss, so for those who lose it, the loss hits them hard.
If we want to take our stand with young people, there are two things we can do that matter.
Say there’s a young person in your family who you love with all your heart and she’s lost hope and lost it so completely she can’t imagine it ever coming back.
First, you help her feel for herself.
You listen to her down into the very depths of her distress. You listen to her until she’s talked out. You listen so well that she reveals her secret fears. Some of which she might have been keeping secret from herself.
In your presence, in conversation with you, she gets to know herself in a new way. She makes discoveries she might not have gotten to on her own.
She gets to see that when she tells you the worst of her hurting, you continue to stand by her. You continue to be her steadfast advocate. You don’t do a fade. You don’t turn and run. So now she knows she can trust you.
And she needs someone she can count on, especially on her darkest days, especially when her own feelings scare her and she doesn’t want to be alone with them.
So she’ll decide to keep talking with you whenever she needs to. And she’ll take herself to heart like never before.
Then second, you help her fight for herself.
You start by providing comforting and company. But then you add in challenge. The challenge of fighting for herself. And for the people she cares about. And for her community. And for what she believes in.
When hope disappears, despair is waiting right there to take you down. It’s a terrible enemy. It will kill your spirit. It will take from you everything that makes you a blessing to the people in your life.
So it matters that as soon as possible after a young person loses hope that she gets immediate help in fighting for herself. It matters that she puts her whole heart into this fight.
And what will help her do this?
It helps if she understands that despair is not the only option after the death of hope. It turns out…
You can replace hope with fight.
It helps if she understands that there is…
Life after the death of hope, and it can be good.
Not easy, but good.
It helps if she discovers that…
There is such a thing as post-hope activism.
Which she can take up if she wants to. And it can be more engaging and nurturing and rewarding than traditional salvation activism. And it comes with a new mission she can adopt if she chooses, which is…
Taking the best possible care of ourselves and each other on our way out.
What role can we Boomers play in this?
If we understand about fight, the value of it and how it works, we can help young people find their own sense of fight and develop it and deepen it.
But if you’re a hope person, if you depend on hope to keep you going, a deep conversation about the death of hope could be really difficult for you.
Of course, if your hope is deeply rooted, there will be no problem. You won’t be thrown off balance.
An awful lot of people, though, are getting by on hope that’s too shallow. It defends them against despair in the routine of their everyday lives, but it’s not strong enough to handle a serious challenge.
I was like that in my early activist days when I was preaching the gospel of hope. Back then, if you didn’t believe in hope, I didn’t want to be around you. You were a threat to my precarious sense of identity.
In fact…
In those days I would not have wanted to know the person I am now. I would have been scared of my unbelief.
So if you’re trying to hang onto to a minimal version of hope but then a young person you love loses hope, you’re suddenly up against a tough dilemma. Do you be with this young person in her distress but at the risk of losing the hope which you depend on?
Going through the motions will not work. Pretending to be with her when you’re not really, will not work. She’ll smell your resistance and then won’t trust you enough to tell you her whole truth.
And so…
She might end up taking care of you by holding herself in check.
Which would be all backwards.
So maybe instead you’ll say to her…
“I can’t be with you on this part of your life journey. I’m too scared. But I will help you find someone who can help you.”
A thoughtful thing to do, but then you’re stuck carrying the sadness of not being there personally for this young person you love.
I’ve lived without hope for decades now. I’m very much settled into a post-hope life. So you might think it would be easy for me to be there for a young person who has just lost hope and is hurting.
And it is easier for me than it is for a hope person, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. The loss of hope is so very painful, it can feel unbearable.
If you accompany a young person into their post-hope life, you’re going to hurt right along with them.
I say that because I’m not talking about just being there for them as a witness, standing apart at arm’s length. I’m talking about being there with them in deep companionship even when your heart is breaking for them.
However, if you are able to muster the moxie to do this, I believe you’ll find it to be deeply meaningful, thrilling even.
And in case you’re wondering, this accompaniment counts as activism, a very personal, one-on-one kind of activism.
And if you were thinking that political activism is mired in ugliness, here’s a blessed exception. Because being there for a young person in their distress, really being there for them, in communion, right down to the level of their soul…
What could be more beautiful?